How to Have the “Retirement Home” Conversation with Your Loved One

A lady explaining to a senior the benefits of moving to an independent living facilityConvincing your loved one to move into a retirement community can be an emotional experience, both for you as well as your parent, partner or relative. Many individuals perceive the move to independent living facilities as synonymous with a loss of independence and usefulness. That is why, how you break the news or introduce the conversation is very important.

Having dealt with so many families over the years, we have seen all kinds of situations here at The Holiday Retirement Home. Read our guidelines to help make it easier.

Tips on Talking to Your Loved One about Independent Living Facilities

  • Set aside plenty of time to talk; it’s not going to happen overnight.
  • Have regular conversations; it will make decision time easier.
  • Give them time to think about and don’t expect immediate answers or consent.
  • Make sure the discussion is inclusive. This means allowing your loved one to express opinions and feelings.
  • Include other family members in discussions for a balanced view.
  • Use examples, like a fall, illness or safety concern to illustrate why a senior living facility or nursing home might be a better option for your loved one.
  • Address financial concerns with a proper budget and financial plan.

If you find that these conversations are upsetting your loved one, back off for a while. It is not going to help if you make it seem like an urgent decision.

What to Do When a Loved One is Resisting the Move to a Seniors’ Home

A daughter having a conversation with a parent over breakfastIf your loved one is resistant to conversations about independent living or retirement communities, you might have to adopt a different approach. In our experience, the resistance typically comes from a feeling of abandonment and loss of control. These tips might make a huge difference to how the conversation with your loved one progresses.

  • Let your loved one know that the move will make them more comfortable and keep them safe.
  • Reassure them that it is a choice and the decision is entirely their own.
  • Invite friends or relatives in independent living facilities to talk about their experiences.
  • Present a united front as a family; you don’t want members offering conflicting opinions or advice.
  • Tell them it is a change of address, and that you will be visiting regularly.
  • Suggest a tour of a retirement community or nursing home so that they can see the benefits of living there.
  • Plan the activities they can take part in so that they have a happy and positive visit.

How to Cope with the Stress of Putting Your Parent in a Retirement Home

The stress of putting your parent in a retirement home can be overwhelming. You have been their primary caregiver, and it is natural to feel both a sense of loss as well as guilt. Here are some tips to help you cope.

  • Take the time to plan the move.
  • Understand that the reason you moved your loved one was out of concern for their care and safety.
  • You are looking out for their best interests, so there is no reason to feel guilty. If you still feel strongly, seek professional help or find a support group.
  • It is normal to feel a sense of loss. The process of letting go is not easy. Give yourself time.Spend time with your loved one in the nursing home or independent living facility, making sure that they are happy and comfortable.

The Holiday makes the move to a retirement home less stressful for your loved ones and you. Your loved one is never alone and will always be looked after with care and compassion.

Take a tour of our retirement community to see why The Holiday has the happiest residents.

Call us today at 860-233-8208 to book a tour.

  • Good article, but boy, it’s hard to think about having that conversation.